Meet Shelby McDaniel, LCSW
I have been where you are.
I get it.
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I can remember having negative body image as early as age ten and having thoughts and behaviors morph into a full-blown eating disorder by age 14. Like most women, I received the distorted, manipulative messaging that my worth was inextricably tied to my weight and appearance. For the next 15 years, I would wage a war against my body and convince myself that everything would be “better” if I could just have enough willpower to eat less or workout more. I blamed and shamed myself for not “getting it right” and not being able to better control the natural needs of my body.
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Like many women, I received the messaging that I needed to be “perfect” and everything for everyone else. I became obsessed with achieving perfection in every area of my life and was devastated anytime my effort came up short of perfect. I would endlessly compare myself to others I thought of as perfect and berate myself for not being “more like them.” For not being enough. I believed the lie that perfection existed if I just tried hard enough.
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For many years, I let the voices, needs, and opinions of others shape who I was and matter more than my own. I learned that it was safest to be small, to agree, and never “rock the boat.” Like a lot of women, I let social expectations and everyone around me dictate who I “should” be, and as a result, had no idea who I was or wanted to be.
I want you to know your worth and be who you are without apology.
I spent too many years of my life worrying about what other people thought of me or needed from me. I tried to be perfect and do everything “right” in order to make sure everyone around me was always happy. As a result, I had no voice of my own, I didn’t know how to trust my intuition, I didn’t like myself, and I was the only one not happy. I don’t want any of that for another woman.
“I am out with lanterns, looking for myself.”
— Emily Dickinson
Every woman has a story of resilience and an identity that is worth knowing.
And more than anything, you deserve to know who you are and how to be her without fear or shame.
Me? I’m a therapist, dog mom, women’s rights advocate, avid reader, feminist, former synchronized swimmer, 80’s music enthusiast, recovering perfectionist, Star Wars nerd, true crime obsessor, and lover of antiques and old movies. And I hope to keep growing into versions of myself I have yet to discover.
Becoming acquainted with myself was not easy, it took longer than I expected, and it is still an ongoing process. However, it’s a choice I would make again and again. And thankfully, I had some incredible therapists, mentors, and inspiring women in my life to help.
I hope to be part of your empowerment process, also.
I work with adult women who struggle with body image and/or disordered eating, women who want to speak up for themselves but don’t know how, or women who feel the weight of shame and perfection.
Together we will explore your history, how you see the world, and very importantly, help you identify how others have told you to see the world. Then, we will say “fuck that” and figure out what you want in order to move forward.
You don’t need more ways to “optimize” yourself. You just need to remember you’re powerful.
Sessions with me focus on understanding, empowerment, and change.
We will examine thought and behavior patterns, where they came from, and how to change them. We will explore the story of you as you know it and examine if that story is right for you.We will interrupt the cycle of perfection and people-pleasing and instead practice boundary setting and assertive language. We will identify the values that matter to you and help you use those values to create the life you authentically want.